When should you start having sex? I was reading through a question posed by a year-old young lady. She is 16 and so am I. I have a year-old daughter myself and imagined that these people were responding to my daughter. That was pretty disturbing to me from the young lady who says she started at 13 and has loved it ever since to another year-old who confirmed that yes 16 is indeed the perfect age.
While there were a few cautionary responses to this young lady, I began to wonder to myself what would I tell this young lady myself. In fact, I personalized it more. What would I tell both my year-old daughter and my year-old son? Rather than giving them a specific age or situation e. Honestly, there were some heavy petting episodes that I am not particularly proud of. Why did I wait?
Some might call it fear. Others might say avoiding shame or guilt. But, looking back, I really do think God was protecting me in some ways. That is about as sophisticated as my thinking was during those years. Now with many more years of experiences and knowledge, I can better articulate even making a Top 10 list why I am so glad that I was a virgin when I married. And, most of these same reasons explain why I have stayed and expect to remain faithful to my wife alone.
Whether you are glad you did or regret it, it is done. But, I do hope this is a salute and source of encouragement to others like me who choose to wait. I also pray that it will encourage those like my children and others like the year-old posing the question when to start having sex to think carefully.
Well, its true. I want to be able to deliver my message without any sense of hypocrisy. I want to be a model for like-minded others. If you desire to save your full physical, emotional, and psychological expression to share in a covenantal relationship then my message to you is that it can be done. There has been much attention, especially in urban centers, about the issue of fatherlessness.
There are far too many socioeconomic variables impacting this highly publicized area for me to address here. Suffice it to say that every man involved in creating a child is responsible for being a father to that child. Being a father is more than some vain conquest or bragging rights. Fatherhood is a lifetime commitment to sacrifice and develop your young. Granted, there are clearly situations where this is intentionally withheld from him.
Personally, I know that I have fathered two children. I have and will continue to sacrifice for my kids. They and their mother know my lifetime commitment to them. Given that neither I nor my wife had any sexual partners outside of our marriage, I have literally never in my life worried for one second about contracting a sexually-transmitted disease.
I just think in my own marriage of those times when we were using condoms in our own family planning efforts. When these mishaps occur, think of the psychological angst and physical exposure you feel until a test validates that everything is fine. You can access the report here. And, as you might guess the CDC confirms that the greatest increase in these diseases is among young people ages —with young women facing the greatest long-term health risk. Tips to make your kids more assertive. Does putting cabbage relieve swelling and stop breastfeeding?
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How to care for your baby's skin the right way. The perfect beauty product for oily skin. Best South Indian beauty secrets. See all results matching 'mub'. News » Lifestyle » Staying a virgin till my wedding night was the best decision of my life. Heres why. Count: We have sent you a verification email. To verify, just follow the link in the message.
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Featured in Relationships. See All. Neither of us had had any personal experience, we hadn't had candid talks with other married friends, and I hadn't really even had an adequate sex education class in school. Despite my repeated and direct questions about what to expect on the wedding night, the best advice I got from my trusted friends, family, and even doctors was always along the lines of "It'll all work out," or "Don't worry, you'll figure it out," or my personal favorite, "Sex within marriage is great!
I was diagnosed with Vaginismus shortly after returning from the honeymoon and after a week of tears and pain and frustration. This meant I had involuntary contractions of the pelvic muscles that made sex extremely painful or even impossible.
After talking with doctors and therapists, I began to realize that decades of "saving myself" had subconsciously convinced me that sex was actually bad, something to be avoided and not thought about. And now that it was "good," my body didn't know what to do, because it had spent so many years not letting itself get too excited around members of the opposite sex. In fact, Vaginismus can be caused by, "Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching i.
As I came to a more realistic understanding of the difficult road ahead if I wanted to overcome my diagnosis, I fell deeper and deeper into depression, ever more convinced of my utter failure as a woman and as a wife. My friends were not any more helpful after the wedding than they were before the wedding. I can't really blame them, though. What do you say to someone who's been waiting their whole life to experience such a basic human need, and now isn't physically able to do so?
It's hard to find words to address such a challenging situation. As I fought to find time on the calendar and money in the budget for daily physical therapy and weekly counseling, I found myself becoming enraged with everyone around me — my husband, my family, my friends, and most of all, God. I had worked so hard to remain a virgin for my husband, and now that I was married I was rewarded with nothing but stress and anxiety.
Sadly, I'm not alone. In reaching out and sharing my story more, I am realizing that this problem and others like it are vastly common in the Christian church. We spend so much time teaching teenagers to avoid intimate interactions, that by the time they're married they've been conditioned to react against intimacy. The "S-word" sex is completely taboo in many, many Christian circles. Kids are told to avoid it until they're married, and that's very often the end of the conversation.
What if we started speaking as frankly about sex as our secular counterparts do? What if we talked frankly about the mechanics and the pleasure of sex? What if we shared amusing tales of awkward first times?
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